Suspended in Air
by BlueIV
Summary: You know how you feel when you suddenly find yourself cresting the top of the most incredible roller coaster you've ever dared to attempt? You know how you feel in that instant? Well, that’s exactly how it feels when your snorting Meth." Shiznat!
1. Air Prologue

"_**Suspended in Air"**_

_Inspired by Ellen Hopkins; author of __Crank_

* * *

_Prologue:_

Someone once told me; 'Don't tell people how to live. Tell them stories and they'll figure out how the story applies to them.'

Funny, such deep words but I can't remember who spoke them for the life of me. I guess that's one of life's many ironies. But, I do have to thank whoever spoke these words of wisdom. It has given me the courage to dive head-first into the unknown and blindly grope into my dark, murky past that, with much effort, I had muddled and weakened since I couldn't quite forget it completely. Enough of that, I say. It's time to open and reveal the skeletons in my closet, sweep out the mess, and hang it up the dirty laundry to dry. Although it feels like I'm stripping myself of my high walls and thick armor, I know I must do this. I must prove myself even if that means standing bare to the world.

For her.

All of this is for her. After this, I can finally be able to stand beside her, my back straight and head held high. I can finally be worthy.

Of course, she disapproves of this. She tells me it doesn't matter, that she has accepted me; **all** of me. The scars, the hurt, the regrets; all of it. But I'm not just doing this for her. This is for me also. I want to be able to be someone that she can be proud of; someone who can truly be called her 'love'.

So, I guess this is it. I'm finally going to peel back the skin, split my ribs, and show anyone that is willing to listen, the story buried deep within my bleeding heart.

**My Story.**

You know how you stand in line for the most incredible roller coaster you've ever dared to attempt? Anticipation swelling, minute by minute you choose to wait even longer, to ride in the front—the best seat possible. Then, finally it's your turn. They buckle you in, lock the safety bar, hook engaged, the chain jerks you forward and you start to climb. Butterflies swell in your stomach and crash around, pushing up your throat in a vain attempt to escape.

Suddenly, you're cresting the top as time moves slowly as you wait for that scant hesitation just before you drop and you know that there is no turning back. You know how you feel at that instant? Well, that's exactly how it feels when your bowling and snorting line after line of the white substance called meth. It's a bitch on the body, but damn do you fly and as the burn rides through your veins, pulsing, rushing, raging torrents pounding against your heart, you are swept away by the current.

Then you feel

Like

Your

Falling.

And you can't help but wish you never hit the ground.

* * *

**As usual, let me know what you think. 'To continue or not to continue?' That is the question.**

**-BlueIV**

* * *


	2. Air Chapter 1

"_**Suspended in Air"**_

_Inspired by Ellen Hopkins; author of __Crank_

_Chapter 1:_

* * *

To this day I can still remember everything about that day; the crystal clear clarity of it all. It's funny how it is so easy to recall the things we rather forget and those few moments in life that we would like to reminisce about takes a little more effort to recollect. You have to dig around some, move through all the muck that gets trapped in your head and dust off the shelves just to find a decent memory that doesn't get your stomach all twisted up inside.

It was a hot afternoon in January. A Sunday. In the distance I saw a family bearing away a stretcher, the sounds of their wails like the mournful cries of the wood pigeons that roosted in our attic. I pushed through the entrance of the hospital—the forbidden place. The wards were crowded. People tightly packed together; a blur of empty faces. I had just walked into the hospital when I came upon my father.

His eyes were red, and his face bristled with a beard of several days' growth. He stared at me and there was no welcome in his eyes.

"I want to see Momma," I said, using the name I had called her when I was younger.

"I am afraid you are too late, Natsuki. Your dear mother has just passed away. It's a sad day for us." Father was not an affectionate man. I never held it against him. I think that when he was a child, there had been no one to teach him affection. But he surprised me by putting an arm around me and holding me tightly. After a moment he drew away.

* * *

Father had shaved his beard and wore his black suit. He took my hand and drew me to him. His hand felt hot in mine, and he wiped beads of sweat from his forehead. The pastor began to read the burial service. His voice strong and full of apathy, "I will lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help."

Father was unsteady on his feet, and I reached out to support him. I bit my lip to keep from crying, imagining that Mother was watching us and would be proud of me.

As the pastor closed his Bible, the coffin was lowered into the ground. And I couldn't help but wonder if everyone in the churchyard could hear my heart breaking.

* * *

At last I was left to myself. I sat on the porch, looking out at the city in the distance. It was dusk by the time my Father joined me. He sat next to me and I seized a hold of his hand but he pulled away. His face was pale as he looked down at me as if he would take me in his arms but he resisted the temptation. Without another word, he stood to his full height and walked off the porch. I watched as he slowly disappeared down the street.

I wasn't aware that it would be the last I would ever see of him. I like to imagine that if I did, I wouldn't have sat there as he walked out of my life; leaving me waiting. Always waiting for his return.

From then on, I swerved off the high road, hard left to nowhere, recklessly and indifferent to those around me. I steadily picked up speed; no limits, just a high velocity rush to madness.

* * *

**I'm perfectly aware that the chapters are relatively short in length, but I like it better this way. Besides, I've been really busy lately with school and I'm still getting worked up about Finals and all. *Sigh* I swear, school should just burn in hell already.**

**-BlueIV**


	3. Air Chapter 2

"_**Suspended in Air"**_

_Inspired by Ellen Hopkins; author of __Crank_

_Chapter 2:_

* * *

My whole life, I've never been brave. Although, I do like to pretend. I've never stared anything down that didn't whip my ass first. I just put up a good front. That's the way it is with me, always thinking what I should have done after the time to do it is over.

That's how it was that hot August night, when those three rich kids piled out of that black Land Rover screaming, "Good-for-nothing thief! Where gonna' kick your ass!" I was running scared before I ever saw the metal baseball bat one of them was swinging.

Deep down, I knew they were part right. I was a damn thief. I'd cross Fukka into Garderobe, looking for a decent car to heist.

I tripped on the cracked sidewalk, banging my chin on the concrete and scraping my palms raw. Before I could get back up, those bastards were right on top of me. I recognized the fat kid from around school—before I'd dropped out. I never knew his name. He cocked the bat in both hands as the skinny dude was kicking at me. Suddenly, I could hear the air whistle next to my left ear as the bat was brought down.

CRACK!

The fat kid had slammed the bat down with enough force to crush my head. Luckily, I dodged just in time and the metal collided with concrete.

A lightning bolt of pain shot through me as the skinny kid's shoe struck me in the temple. I could feel the warm blood on my face. It tasted bitter as it dripped into my mouth. For a few seconds I was seeing double, and there were six of them instead of three.

"You wanna' steal from us, huh?" screamed the tall kid with the goatee. "Let's see if you try to pull that stunt again after we're through with you."

My legs started pedaling on instinct, like I was on a ten-speed, fighting him off.

"Turn 'er over!" barked the fat kid through his clenched teeth, throwing the bat up high, ready for the next blow.

I brought my arms up to protect my skull as I kicked like a raging bull. I managed to slam my foot into the fat kid's shin and he was failed as if by dynamite. He sure did howl over that. I clawed at the pavement, pulling myself up as quickly as possible. My head was pounding so bad it hurt to think but I managed to take one last look back.

My eyes caught sight of the bat. Then I saw the logo across the red aluminum barrel—the gold letters that spelled out; _**Suspended**__ in Air._

* * *

"Holy shit!" Corey Lee says, spitting her words out and raising her eyebrows in an expression no one would dare argue with. "What happened to you?"

I ignored her question and stepped inside, moving past her as she held the door open.

I collapsed on the couch and looked into those big blue eyes she's so proud of, especially since she got her contacts. She used to have horrible plastic glasses, with really thick lenses, and she was squinting all the time. Near-sighted, astigmatic and with a twinkle in her eye, as my mother would say. She carried the burden of it all through her childhood. Since she swapped her glasses for two tiny lenses, it's as if she wanted to make the whole world pay for her past humiliations.

She's getting her revenge.

Sometimes all you can see in her eyes is anger and contempt, or—worse than that—she's lying and her eyes are dressed up in this immeasurable innocence, all blue and transparent as she talks to one of her teachers, or to a cop.

It's funny the way she sometimes speaks, deliberately foul-mouthed and hard, as if she's saying, 'I'm free now and no one can pull me down.'

I settle into the couch, not caring too much that blood is dripping all over the cushions. Corey Lee settles down at the other end of the sofa, throwing a dirty t-shirt at me and motioning towards the gash on the side of my head.

"Come on, Natsuki. Tell me what the hell happened to you," her voice leaving no room for argument.

I sigh and dab at the blood on my face. "Remember that Lexus I made off with?"

"Damn. You got caught? How many were there?"

I held up three fingers and I couldn't help but smirk with pride. I had held my own with three of those punks. Anyone's ego would get a boost if you survived that with only a single head wound.

"You can get six G's from the dude down at the chop shop for a Lex; wouldn't matter what model it was," she told me with a grin. I watched as her smile grew even wider as her blue eyes lit up with mischief. "Hey, what do you say we celebrate your success?"

She pulled a bindle from her pocket, tapped the sparkly powder inside.

"Cooked up fresh yesterday."

* * *

My nose ignited as fire spread throughout my veins. Demons bite through cartilage and sinuses, taking aim at my brain as shock waves of energy mushroom inside my head. It annihilates the barriers I spent my life cultivating; brings down the walls and unleashes floodwaters. And all the while fire continues to lick at arteries and capillaries.

Pushing, rushing, raging torrents pounding against your heart.

* * *

**I've found that I'm really enjoying writing this story. I guess the reason why is because it hits pretty close to home. Don't do drugs, kids. I've seen how bad it can fuck people up. And let me tell you, it's not fun.**

**On another note, the character Corey Lee is basically me. I'd figured it'd be fun to have a character that is completely mine; not Sunrise's. Ha Ha! Take that Sunrise!**

**-BlueIV**


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